Ten reasons to chuck your computer away

May 17, 2009 · Posted in Computers and Humour, Hazards to Health

I visited an old mate recently whom I hadn’t seen for years, and within a short space of time, over a few bottles of red plonk, discovered he is a Luddite. Yep. No mobile phone, no palm-held device, no iPod, and, (may The Saints preserve his soul), no computer!

Dave is happy.

Well, he seemed happy enough, especially after the third bottle of red! computer in dustbin

So what’s his secret? Surely you can’t survive these days without that “demon in the corner”. (I’m borrowing the phrase from The Reverend Ewart Lewis, the vicar of the town where I grew up. Computers weren’t around in those days - that was what he called the TELEVISION).

The question is, could I survive without my computer?

Well, the short answer is maybe. But could you? To help you decide I’ve come up with ten good reasons why you should throw the whole lot into the trash can.

You could:

1. Spend more time in the pub.

2. Enjoy the look on people’s faces when you tell them you don’t have a computer.

3. Stop your kids from cribbing homework off an internet site.

4. handwriting

(and spelling!)

5. Banish email forever

Some sub-categories here:

no more spam, which seems to take up 90% of my incoming mail these days;
go on holiday without spending half your time at the Internet Café checking your mail, (not forgetting updates on your Facebook, Myspace, Youtube etc. etc.etc.);
no more recycled jokes greeting you each morning.

6. Save your eyesight.

videosis

VIDEOSIS. A painful eye complaint commonly occurring among computer buffs. Caused by excessive exposure to video screens on which fast-moving video games are played and displayed.

(Taken from ‘Hazards to Health‘ in Microholics by Richard Howell)

7. Never be tempted to start blogging.

8. Say goodbye to viruses worms, logic bombs, Trojan Horses and other ’sperm of the devil’.

9. Save loads of money on upgrades, broadband connection, storage media, computer mags……..

10. Attain freedom! To quote Joseph John Campbell (1904- 1987) an American mythologist, writer and lecturer, “A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy“.

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