Are you sitting comfortably?
Today we take another look at the section Hazards to Health from Microholics, and discover this rather painful ailment:
MEMORHOIDS
Memorhoids are caused by using a computer with too little memory, and which thus cannot handle sophisticated file-handling functions.
The PASSING OF DATA between the central processing unit and peripheral devices is inhibited, causing a BINARY PILE-UP of digits waiting to be transmitted. The operator who foolishly sits for hours awaiting completion of data transfer will be extremely prone to memorhoids.
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Internet-free Zone
As I write this I’m in an internet-free zone.
Flying at a height of 35,000 feet, and at a speed in excess of 500 miles per hour, it is now technically feasible to gain access to the world wide web through your mobile phone, according to this report. But (a) this aircraft is not equipped to allow the use of such a facility, and (b) I don’t fancy paying the €1.60 per minute charge for the privilege! However, one day no doubt, not too far from now, the internet will be part of normal service on all flights, and competition among airlines will force the price down to a satisfying zero. In the meantime, most of the flying public must content themselves with the usual on-board in-flight “activities”.
There are those few lucky individuals who can strap themselves in before take-off, shut their eyes, and lie comfortably comatose until woken up by the thump of undercarriage on tarmac as they reach their destination.
Not being blessed with this ability, and with no internet browsing at my disposal, I make do with a couple of complimentary glasses of Scotch, a pen and paper, and wait for “inspiration”.
This is the best I could come up with:
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